but, what is hope?

the word so often translated faith in the new testament comes from an ancient word that literally means “trust.”  faith is the deep confidence that God is good and that God’s goodness somehow triumphs.  faith is that intimate, personal trust by which you say, “i commend myself into your strong, loving hands.”  it is not hard to see how genuine hope is different from optimism.  we are not talking about a sunny disposition that makes us believe things will be better tomorrow.  an optimist says, “the war will be over; your wounds will be healed; the depression will go away; all will be better soon.”  the optimist may be right, but unfortunately he or she may also be wrong.  for none of us can control our circumstances.

no, hope does not come from positive predictions about the state of the world, anymore than does faith.  nor does hope depend on the ups and downs of our life’s particulars. hope rather has to do with God.  we have hope and joy in our faith because we believe that, while the world in which we live is shrouded in darkness, God has overcome the world.  “in the world,” Jesus say, “you face persecution.  but take courage; i have conquered the world.” (John 16”33).  We follow One who is not limited or defeated by the world’s sufferings.

Jesus would ask us:  “do you believe?  do you trust?  do you trust that God loves you so much that he wants to give you only life?”  when i try to answer, i realize how far i have to go.  much in me says, “i want to be sure that there are certain things in place before i take the leap of faith.”  every time i try to trust, i realize how many little conditions i put on trust.  every time i trust more, i see how deep is my resistance.  and how many more levels i find that faith has not penetrated!  we don’t know how many levels there are.  but, our lives are renewed every time we trust more.  we take a leap of faith and trust only to see the next layer of possibility. 

hope does not mean that we will avoid or be able to ignore suffering, of course.  indeed, hope born of faith becomes matured and purified through difficulty.  the surprise we experience in hope, then, is not that, unexpectedly, things turn out better than expected.  for even when they do not, we can still live with a keen hope.  the basis of our hope has to do with the One who is stronger than life and suffering.  faith opens us up to God’s sustaining, healing presence.  a person in difficulty cna trust because of a belief that something else is possible.  to trust is to allow for hope. 

which also means that to trust is not always to demand specifics of what will transpire.  God wants us to know life – but what that actually means is open-ended.  God wants us to experience healing, but how can we know precisely what healing will always look like?  God wants to bring us to a new place of faithfulness, but how and through what means?  we don’t have to decide everything or know everything or even glimpse much at all; if we try too hard to figure it all out we lose a trusting spirit.  a person of faith learns to trust so much  that the outcome of the trust is given into the hands of the One in whom the trust is placed.  we let God work out some details that we feel tempted to know or control but ultimately cannot.

this kind of attention to the eternal in our every day does not strain our hearts.  it does not major on brawny striving.  it has more to do with attention to God than perfection, with a desire to see God even amid our great weakness. 

from Turn My Mourning Into Dancing, by Henri Nouwen

so, yes, i cheated for this entry.  but, the description of hope sums up a lot for me and for the work of ftw.  maybe i’ll write some more of my own thoughts in the next few days.  but, feel free to share your own as well. 

Too much death – again

so, we once again have lost one of the little ones who is part of our groups.  This little guy, Kenny, passed away quite suddenly yesterday.  He just got sick.  From what?  Well, no doubt bad water, an infection, malaria – who knows.  But, there was no treatment and no way to get him anywhere.  This kind of thing happens all too often, and it is so sad because it is so often preventable things.  You would give your kids children’s tylenol, and if their sickness progressed, you’d go to the pediatrician or clinic – no big deal.  Easy.  Not here.

So, all this reality not only holds the basic loss of life in general.  But, it also adds to the already overwhelming amount of grief and loss people carry here.  

These things need healing. 

Clean water is needed.  Medical care is needed.  Good sanitation practices are needed.  Nutrition is needed.  So, I keep saying, God help.  Jesus come.  May change happen.  May things be different.  I know it takes time.  I know the need and area is so huge that nothing will happen fast.  But, any amount we can do to help, I pray God will make it possible. 

And then, as much as that, may people have healing – emotionally and spiritually.  The Bible says that God comforts us in our struggles so that we may comfort others.  May that happen.  God, use us.  Use our experiences and what we’ve been through to extend the same care and healing we’ve had to those here who are so overwhelmed with it all.  Maybe we feel overwhelmed, too.  Maybe we don’t want to help because we think it’s just too much or that we can’t handle it.  Well, it is too much, and we can’t handle it.  But, God can.  Truly.  He gives strength in our weakness, he is a light in the darkness, and he does things even when we think nothing is happening. 

You know, we do see change.  We do see good things.  But, the harsh circumstances here remain.  But, I know God is working.  God is good. 

God the Healer

So, if you know me, you may know that I was incredibly sick last week.  Even now, I am still a bit tired and have some few effects lingering.  Being so sick here in Uganda is not fun.  Learning about the lack of quality medical care and facilities first hand was truly eye opening.  I had seen facilities and what not before, of course.  But, it is all different when you are on the other side, relying on this care to help you get better.  I won’t pretend; it was scary.  I never felt like this before, and it was not fun.

I have been a bit overwhelmed by the response of people praying and sending well-  wishes.  I honestly didn’t realize that so many people were even aware that I was sick.  I am deeply touched by all who expressed their care.

It is interesting that the day I was the worst, the day also that people mostly started hearing and praying, is the day I finally took a turn for the better.  I was quite out of it and really struggling at one point.  One of the guys at the hotel here came to pray over me, along with a couple others I think, and right away I calmed down.  I was still quite sick, but my emotions and focus was much clearer.  There was just a real sense of Jesus taking care – and that He was with me.  So, that was cool.

It’s all made me think a lot about God’s healing – His presence in our lives.  It is not only a physical healing that Jesus gives; it is a life healing.  Every broken and fallen bits of our lives are put back together.  This is never completed until we go home with Him, but it can begin now. 

The healing is not for ourselves.  I mean, it is a gift – it is God caring for and about us.  It is His love being given.  But, the healing is also about being more able to live out God’s purposes in our lives.  That is not a bad thing; it is inspiring!  No one likes to sit and home and do nothing.  I’m sorry; we just don’t.  We need vacations and all that at times, but people are made to have purpose – to live something of importance.  God heals us so that we can live that to the full.  As we live that, His healing becomes more complete – as we allow it.  Those broken pieces are now put together by Him and used for more than we could have imagined.

We have to live the healing.  We have to keep taking our medicine.  This has been my biggest life lesson the past 3 years or so.  Live the healing.  It can be scary – just as I was scared with the physical pain and unknown.  We can feel fear and want to just stay in the safety of the familiar.  But, God can and will put together broken pieces, but if I don’t then receive it and live it out, they will remain not fully healed.  When we are physically sick, we need to take medication, do rehab, regain strength.  If we don’t, then we are only asking to have the sickness remain or return.  We could even make things worse than they were before.

Everyone has told me to rest and take it easy until I am fully recovered.  They are right.  When we push it too much or ignore the process, we suffer.  God has healed my life and put together broken pieces in many ways.  I pray I will live that.  God will take me home when He wants; that will be the final healing.  But, in the mean time, I am to live the fullness of life He intends, by living the on-going healing He gives and letting that carry into the purposes He has designed.

This is the Scripture God gave me last week in the midst of all this.  I love what it says.  There are some obvious verses here, but I also love how it says, “Let the…”  Let these scary things come.  THE LORD is on my side.  The Lord has it all taken care of; He is bigger than all of it.  And so He is!

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

So we will not fear, even if earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!  Interlude

A river brings joy to the city of our God, the sacred home of the Most High. God himself lives in that city; it cannot be destroyed. God will protect it at the break of day. The nations are in an uproar, and kingdoms crumble! God thunders, and the earth melts! The LORD Almighty is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress. Interlude

Come, see the glorious works of the LORD: See how he brings destruction upon the world and causes wars to end throughout the earth. He breaks the bow and snaps the spear in two; he burns the shields with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”  The LORD Almighty is here among us; the God of Israel is our  fortress. Interlude

The Balance of….What is Church?

(here is the first part of this little series.  they are like little essays of book chapters, so they are a bit longer.  but, there is a thesis.  ha. so, please hang in there and keep reading!  if you are looking for information about Finding The Way, PLEASE click on the page of it at the top and browse older posts.  updates will continue to come…)

what is church?     how does a question like that end up relating to things being out of balance?  look, i am not a theologian or, you know, god, so i am not here to give some exact definition of what local church absolutely is or isn’t or how it should or shouldn’t be lived out.  what i am saying, basically, is that…..none of us should do that to the extent where attitudes and then actions are out of balance.  and sadly, that happens a lot these days.

go to any christian bookstore or browse various sites and blogs, and you will find loads of information of either some “exact”(though actually only their own theoretical) definition of what church is and was meant to be from scripture, or you will find so many opinions of what is wrong with churches today and how they should be functioning properly.  it’s ridiculous.  it’s sad.

i was part of that ridiculousness.  over the years, i ended up with an attitude of being fairly negative toward the “church.”  i, as many these days, felt like the church in generally was legalistic, institutionalized, and stuck having very little affect in the kingdom of god.  i then thought that i was part of living out a kingdom life in ways that were better than others.  i did not think i was being negative or arrogant at the time.  i thought that i was enlightened.  again, i didn’t see it at the time; i just thought i “got it” and others hadn’t yet.  pathetic, huh.  it was wrong.  i was wrong.

the thing is that, though parts of my attitude were wrong, not all of my thinking was mistaken.  what i was learning and experiencing was needed and part of what god was genuinely teaching me and growing me in.  he was bringing balance to me. it’s just that my attitude about those good things could be too arrogant at times.  it is true that  there are a lot of groups of people who gather – church groups – who do fit those not so great descriptions and are out of balance.  that is a fact.  and, god can certainly do things in us as individuals and with his body of believers as a whole to shift people more into what will bring life as he intended.

he brings balance.

and my opinion, and it is just my opinion, is that god’s been doing that with the ekklesia: those who are called out and meet in assembly for a purpose.  ekklesia is the greek word often translated to church in the bible.  i think that overall, yes, there has been a need to have the followers of chirst meet in assembly for a purpose in a more balanced and life-giving way.  it’s just that now, as with so many things, the pendulum has swung so far the other direction that things are now out of balance for other reasons.

just for fun

thought i’d display some good and some silly pictures.  show off good photo skills (or quality camera technology these days)… entice people to come.

how a crocodile sleeps

here’s lookin’ at you

on the Nile

leader jennie….workin hard

nap time…

“slow down mom”

“i want to eat you”

awww

regal

the new remmy and jennie show!

scary!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I love to send Christmas cards in the mail.  But, this year, it

just isn’t happening.  So, I hope that every one I know and would send to will see this.  I was going to put together some fun/funny video thing, but that’s not happening either.

So, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my friends and family!  I pray your holidays are filled with more of Jesus, and joy and peace deep in your hearts.  I have amazing people in my life.  Know that you are each a blessing!

                                         Love to All,

           Jennie/Jen/Coach

why i need trekking poles

i was never very good at gymnastics.  it was one of those required things for gym class.  that and square dancing (another, “you know you’re from snyder county if….you ever had to do square dancing as a gym requirement”).  i think i was only ever successful at like one cartwheel in my life.  my body just isn’t quite made for that particular athletic expression. ;-)  you see,  i was never very good at balancing.  i would go up for a hand stand and if i actually got my feet the whole way up in the air, inevitably i would crash over to the other side.  and yes, no doubt it was quite comical observing me try to do these things.  needless to say, i think i always needed a spotter.  i might have crossed the balance beam once or twice – after like 8 hours of trying to cross. 

and, you know, i am still not great at balancing.  sure, i would scramble all around the rocks and i’ve ascended steep and high mountains.  but, if i have to cross a log that’s all of 6 inches over a narrow stream….well, forget it.  i’d much rather get my feet wet in icy waters than try to get myself across.  i can walk along the rim of the grand canyon and jump from rock to rock at de chelly.  but seriously, i really am not good at fording rivers and streams.  there was a suspension-like bridge crossing at yellowstone that was fine and sturdy, but man, even something like that, i not a fan of it.  because, if you don’t just go straight across, the thing would bounce and move.  don’t like it.  don’t wanna do it.  i feel too unsteady.

but, you know, you do what you have to do.  once, i had to carry pippo across some logs b/c there was no place to cross.  that was a bit of a struggle.  and i had pippo; so of course, i had to cross.  what made it possible to cross, is that i had my trekking poles. this way i could steady myself a bit.  we made it across.  i since have found trekking poles to be the most glorious things in fording streams.  maybe it’s cheating in terms of balancing.  but, i am able to balance because i have support. 

 

 i guess i would attempt to describe it like this…

 

you know, god balances the weight of the world.  not only is his physical creation a wonder in how perfected it all is and how if only one small thing gets out of balance, then it can throw off every way the world works.  our bodies are similar.  if our body temperature is out of balance by even a tenth of a degree, we know it.  something is not right.  god created things to be kept in balance – not too far one way or the other.

this same principle applies to living out kingdom life.  love – but first love god with all we are and then love others – maintain that balance.  be in the world and able to connect with people and be salt and light, but don’t be of the world and live in fear or worry or things that pull you away from god’s best.  delight yourself in the lord, and THEN he will give you the desires of your heart.  be angry, but do not sin.  be humble and broken, but have boldness and confidence.  the gospel is a mystery, yet it is absolute truth.  i could go on and on.  live in the tension of living out and within god’s kingdom on earth, which is not yet heaven. 

i am not so sure i live out a balanced life in christ any better than i balance myself crossing a mountain stream.  the thing is, i don’t have to DO it – like all on my own.  i have, you know, trekking poles; i have a spotter. god is my rock – my sure foundation – my ever present help in trouble.  he is my balance.  his spirit is my guide. his word is lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  he is love that allows me to love.  he is grace that allows me to have grace.  he forgives that allows me to forgive.  

all i have to do, i guess, is actually cross the river.  trust that those logs will hold me and that if i just keep moving, i will make it across.  you know, it becomes harder to maintain balance when we just stand still.  but, as you keep moving forward, you are to the other side before you know it.  and, you realize that the trekking poles are just there in case.  they steady you, but you can walk forward and have enough balance to keep going.  but, don’t look down.  don’t focus on the raging river we fear or even the gently flowing stream that looks relaxing.  focus on the steps ahead and on the other side.

no valley is too deep.  we can cross to the other side of all things and all situations.  but, it requires living in the balance of life in christ.  and, i suppose if god can have the earth on its axis at exactly the right angle and exactly the right speed to spin around, then, where the slightest change would destroy the world, then he can certainly hold my life in the balance of his life.  because then, his wondrous creation, me, is living out the beauty of all he intended to experience him and extend life to others.

 

just another day in paradise…

you know, you hear a lot of phil collins/genesis here sometimes.  older “pop” music is most common.  so, i was thinking of this song the other day.  not sure why…

 

So, I just wanted you all to see that I am working hard.  J

Ok, I’m still in Tanzania, until Monday.  And no, not every moment has been paradise.  ha!  Quite the contrary.  We did, however, take an overnight on Zanzibar Island, off the coast of Tanzania.  Did the very inexpensive version.  Moments of refreshment like this are like water in the desert sometimes, and moments to be reminded of how God cares and takes care, even if I haven’t spoken to any friends in the U.S. for 3 months and the next day you are back amid such difficult things and you are not sure you can eat another day of rice and beans.  

It is hard to share much in depth because I’ve barely had time to think – busy schedule and being with the team always. 

I had actually written a more lengthy post and saved it to my flashdisk.  But, I lost my flashdisk the other day.  Bummer.

I was talking about things God has been teaching me in the midst of living and serving here.  But at the moment, I just can’t think enough to write much.  I’ll try to post something better this weekend.

The trip overall has been good in seeing God work in many ways.  For me personally, there have been many challenges – just internally – to work through.  And seeing and experiencing the struggles of people here is constantly in front of your face all the time.

looking forward to paradise with jesus…

 

 

mt. dew, hershey’s syrup, and msnbc

ok, so i am in tanzania.  very limited internet time.  doing various speaking and worship leading.  been good and yet quite challenging.  big fun is that i found mt. dew and hersheys at the supermarket here.  i about jumped out of my shoes!  and, there is tv where we are staying, and it has msnbc.  so, i can follow the election cvg.   so, i’ll write more as soon as i can.  but, greetings from the heat!!

in the jungle…and…mountains gandalf, mountains…

in the jungle, the mighty jungle…virgin bamboo forest, passing by sign for gorillas, elephants, monkees, and buffalo.  way, way cool.  has restored a bit of much needed wonder to my heart.

 so…i’ve had a chance for a free trip to southwestern uganda – on the border of rwanda and congo.  god really has blessed and opened doors for a number of good connections.  i, and the real africa staff, are guests of the bishop of the anglican diosese in this area.  this guy who is friends with denis, owner of real africa, from the uk, does projects in this area and invited us down to check it out and open opportunities.  i won’t get into all the details, but there lots of potentials for lots of things.

more than that, honestly – haha – is that this region is mountainous.  people live and farm on large hills/ridges, at the base of the virunga mountain range (which is volcanic).  peaks are from 12-13,800 feet.  jungle mountains.  i’ve been in my glory hiking around.  there is a small national park on the border of congo where i had one foot in congo and one in uganda for a 2 mile stretch.  or, as the babes in bras chics would say, one boob in congo and one in uganda.  (sorry, the gang of of us would go backpacking, who’s been on hiatus a bit, was on my mind so much during this hike – as it was so swell to be among such new discoveries.  that is our inside nickname.  so, a shout out to all the backpacking buds through the years).

anyway, i don’t have time to capture this whole trip.  from god opportunities, to sharing music, to hiking, to meeting so many ppl and making so many connections, to just getting out of kampala (which i must confess that i loathe), it’s been really swell.

looking on the lake near where i stayed.

remmy and i at the edge of bwindi impenatrable forest, where much gorilla trekking is done. 

 

 

 

 

 

a good day in beautiful country…real africa staff, new friends, and emma from uk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i’m in the congo here.  had a field guide and two trackers with rifles for safety.

an area hit by hailstones the size of eggs, just last week.  lots of crop damage to a place where ppl are already limited to eating one simple meal a day.  thinking how to help.

terrace farming.  you wouldn’t believe the steep grades on which ppl farm.  all by hand with simple hoes. incredible.

bamboo forest…